"Would Do/Should Do"

Monday, March 11, 2014

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.  The path to hell is paved with good intentions.

That's the general thrust of the message in today's reflection (again invoking Shakespeare, although unfortunately again less effective a quote when you know the context).

I have a sign in my classroom that says "We are judged by our ACTIONS, not our INTENTIONS" which I have used little in my classroom.  I thought I would be referring to it constantly, but I keep forgetting about it in those opportune moments.  The caption I wrote under it is, essentially, "we are not in your head."

At some point, I believe, it doesn't matter what you meant to do.  Of course, it matters for your personal salvation, for your personal beliefs and personality in general.  But you don't get to discount the effect of your actions because they had a good intention behind them.  You don't get to deny the pain you've caused.

After two months studying the bystander effect in the context of the Holocaust, I wonder if we will ever change this part of our natures.  We still stand idly by.  We still watch as things happen to others.  We still can't be bothered.  I posed what I thought was a rhetorical question to bring them slowly along to global citizenship only to flounder at the chorus of "Of course we should solve our own problems before we stop genocide abroad!"  I admit I was seriously flummoxed.  So we were right to avoid wading into World War II because of the Great Depression?  No, that's not the right tack.  "Wait, really?" No, no...

What I came up with was, "Consider this: what if their neighbors aren't capable of intervening either?  What if there is no one who can help that's close?  Then is it our responsibility?"

Unfortunately, for many students the answer still seemed to be a qualified, no longer resounding, no.

It's something you hear around the talk shows and news shows and dinner tables.  We have problems enough at home, we don't need to go looking for them.  The US has plenty to deal with on our side of the Atlantic.  True.  Heaven knows it's all too true.  But staying out of Rwanda was a horrific crime.  How long it took us to intervene in the Sudan.  Syria.

We are bystanders, by and large.  Show us a person suffering right there, near us, and we will probably help.  Tell us someone is drowning a thousand miles away and we can save them if we hand over $5, and studies show that the number of people who will help drops drastically.

It's okay to know this about ourselves.  But now that we do, now that we know we value proximity and need to see the victim to propel us to act -- let's make sure we're looking for the visceral evidence we need to take the necessary action.