"Attentiveness/Responsiveness"

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

First real quibble with the reflection book: do not make light of ADD to turn it into a "lesson", okay?  "Why is attention deficit disorder a serious issue?"  You imply the answer is because of your previous meditation on the importance of attention and then RESPONDING to the message you receive.  No, the answer to that question is because it is a potentially serious handicap and behavioral disorder that is, in most cases, quite treatable but often misunderstood and stigmatized or made light of as a result.

Now, back to your other good points today:

The reflection quoted Jose Ortega y Gasset: "Tell me what you pay attention to, and I will tell you who you are."  That is some profound stuff right there -- all the moreso for being an obvious truth we don't like to face.  I think most of us would like to think we are who we are on our best days -- that we take seriously the news in the Washington Post and know to take John Stewart with a grain of salt, to name one of mine.  But which do I turn to (semi) daily?

I would like to think I am smart and savvy and study the Bible, but I spend much more time on TV and science fiction.  I have read a lot this week, but none of it for the Bible study group meeting tomorrow.  Perhaps that's why God has to speak to me through these things -- these things I devour and hate Lent for taking away from me even in part.

But the second part of the reflection feels even more pertinent to me right now.  I recently felt a call deep in my heart -- I won't say soul, because while I believe it comes from God, it's not a religious one in particular.  I feel as if someone put a magnet behind my heart and is holding the other half toward me.  I NEED to run toward it.

It's frightening, really, because I have something worth casting the rest off for.  I have something I WANT in a long-term sense.  Something I would happily devote my life to, even if it didn't allow me to live in comfort or even stability.  Something I could do and do well and want desperately.

Will I have the courage to respond with bravery?  And will I listen when God calls with His take on this mission?  Will I ever listen to God's call with the clarity and purpose I feel about this?

I fear the answer at the moment, which isn't a good sign.