Wednesday April 13, 2011

John 11:17-21

"When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, only about two miles away. Many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home. Martha said to Jesus, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'"

I've always wondered why Mary sat at home. Well, I suppose not always, but I have from time to time. Was she, who was so much more dependent on her faith, unready to face Jesus who had not saved her brother? Did she hold down the front so that Martha could go and be the first to fall at his feet in her grief? Did she step up in the time of trouble? So that Martha, that busy bee, could have her moment to finally mourn?

I know someone who needs to take the time for that, to let himself grieve. A busy bee trying so hard to do everything except let himself feel the pain. Let himself deal with it and talk to God about his woes. Then again, I think he does talk to God, but the strain is showing.

Especially because in a bit Mary just can't take it anymore and sets off anyway, I guess I like to think of her trying to hold the house down and then just finally realizing that there are more important things. There are people visiting who need to be fed, who are bustling about being helpful and getting in the way, there was a service to plan and arrangements to be made. But that wasn't nearly as important and experiencing grief, as going to Jesus to be reconciled - to try to understand and rest in the comfort of God's embrace.

As for Martha, the Little Black Book talks about the natural tendency to be mad at God, but I don't think that you can get from there to "But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you" to "I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day" to "Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world." I think she was asking why, more than a little bit, but more than that, she was stating her continued faith.

Because I wonder if, among all these Jews who came down from nearby Jerusalem to comfort her, how many came to ask if she was disappointed, if she no longer believed in Jesus, that He was the Son of God, if He did not help her. I wonder if she was beset by those who assumed that because death touched her family her faith in God was shaken. And I wonder if this was to them as well. Probably it was for herself, and to let Jesus know that she still stood by His side.

After all, she was about to make, as the Little Black Book did point out, Martha in John's Gospel makes the "great profession of faith" that Peter makes in the other three gospels. John was writing later, knowing how important to the early church were women. He knew we could handle it coming from Martha, rather than the man who was to start the line of popes. And it means more from Martha in this moment than it could from Peter in the moments given in the other gospels. Perhaps Peter suffered more for it, and perhaps it meant more to him (I believe they both gave it, to be clear) because he was about to betray Jesus - to know that he had at least believed. But to come to this moment in grief, in disappointment, beset by those who thought this would break your faith, to come to Jesus who did not save your brother from death and say that you still believe, you still love, you still need him - well, it's worth trusting your somewhat spacey sister with a house full of busy craziness to go do.

Dear Lord, help me, in adversity more than ever, to believe and trust in You. Be with me in hard times and watch over all who are experiencing them. Help them to choose to let the hard times bring them closer to You.