Thursday April 14, 2011

John 11:22-27

"Martha said, '(But) even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give you.' Jesus said to her, 'Your brother will rise.' Martha said to him, 'I know he will rise, in the resurrection on the last day.' Jesus told her, 'I am the resurrection and the life; whoever believes in me, even if he dies, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?' She said to him, 'Yes, Lord, I have come to believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who is coming into the world.'"

I feel like I already wrote about this part of the story yesterday - which might turn out to have been a good thing because I can tell you that I am feverish and not really coherent today. So if it's gibberish, just reread yesterday's.

I talked with Father Rolo today a lot about our Catholic identity, and I think what Martha is given here is a chance, at her lowest, to renew her faith. I think it's why we say the Nicene Creed at every Mass. Because every day we make the choice - I am a follower of Jesus Christ, I believe in Him. It's not something that just happens once.

It's not that I don't think that conversion stories aren't amazing at times, but I remember I was in an online chatroom once for the Left Behind series (I forget why, I did read my way through a good part of the series before I got too annoyed with them) and there was this huge emphasis placed on an inspiring story bringing you to Christ - everyone had one and seemed to me largely evaluated by it. To the point where I felt a little compelled to create one, and then I realized that "cradle Catholic raised to be strong in my faith and active in my church community, never really strayed too far away" doesn't make for a big inspiring story - but that doesn't mean it doesn't make for a good Christian. I still have just as strong a relationship with God than if I had had a great revelation and life-change. Because He was always in my life.

But even for people who do have that experience, its importance can be deceptive. After all, what matters more than an emotional acceptance of Jesus in the midst of choirs singing gospel music (or, you know, something less cliched but powerful and spiritually memorable all the same) is the next day when you wake up and decide that you will live your life for God. And then the next day. And that the next time, even if it is a time when normally you would have turned to bitterness and anger, when someone asks what you believe you choose to say that you believe in God, and His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit and that They are present in your life.

That that profession of faith because an indelible part of your identity, a mark on your soul and present in everything that you do. That you walk by faith and not by sight. That you do not waver when that music fades, that you hold firm. That you know God will always accept you back if you falter.

Because our Christian life is not about conversion. It's about living as a Christian people. It's about letting our faith become something you can't describe us without mentioning prominently. Becoming one of the first and main considerations of how we will live our lives each day, working its way into every decision that we make. That we believe, and that first and foremost we identify as a Catholic, a Christian, a member of the Body of Christ.

And that it's not just words but a true part of our lives.

Dear Lord, may I always remember to foster our relationship, may I always remember what I believe and stand strong in that belief. Be with me, Lord, that I may live my life with constant reference to You, and that others may see who I am, a Catholic, by Your love shining through me.