Why?

Holy Saturday mass is a long one.  Starting at twilight and with something like 9 readings before we get to the opening of the tomb.

But over and over again, they illustrate the great questions of our faith.  Why did God create the world?  Why did He create it this way?  Why play that game with Abraham?  Why ask us to sacrifice our children?  Why lead the Israelites to Egypt in the first place?  Why harden Pharoah's heart so that it takes the plague of the first born to convince Ramses?

Why change the essential nature of God to die.  Truly die.  Pass out of the world as we will someday pass out of the world.  Descend to the dead to free them.  Why not just use your phenomenal cosmic powers?

Why create a world with free will?  Why test that free will when you know the answer Abraham will make?  Why lead Joseph to Egypt to save everyone from famine when the Israelites will end up slaves?  Why not soften Pharoah's heart and save the firstborn of Egypt?  Why stick by the people who turned from you so often?

Why suffer and die?  Why let death sit with You on the Throne of Heaven forever?

Why not be there to greet those who came to mourn you?  Why leave angels there to explain?  Why appear only to Mary Magdalene, and only after they had gone?  Why let death change you so profoundly that at first she did not know You?

Why suffer that for us?  Why when you could have made or remade the world however you would have liked?  Why love us in this way?

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful.  Don't get me wrong, I see the love you proved to us time and again.  Don't get me wrong, it's amazing and wonderful and unfathomable.

As a sacred story there's a lot of bewilderment left in it.  Which is why the whole "explain natural phenomena" explanation for religion always seemed a little funny to me.  I mean, have you ever had a six year old?  Trying to explain something to them and always with a "But why?" for every little story you tell about Persephone and Demeter...a story just opens up more whys.

Sacred stories don't make more sense than the world around us.  They make less sense -- at least to us.  They sound like patent nonsense.  God is omnipotent but we have free will.  He created us to live without sin but stuck a tree in the middle of the garden.  He tested and caused pain to those who followed Him.  He saved the Israelites when they were disobedient and ungrateful.  He made himself smaller, finite, and human.  God made human.  And He let Himself die.

He rose again -- and then He left us alone to tell the story and make a muck of it.

It's all ridiculous, if you think about it.  And one of the things we have to hope, to have faith, is that the sense is somewhere beyond us -- but there.  Definitely there.

Occasionally we catch a glimpse, and it's beautiful.  Those are the moments we go to Church for and think about these things for and work so hard to stay on the straight path for.  When for just a moment this story makes perfect sense or at least we can see how large and loving and bright is the piece of it we can glimpse.  Before our sight fades back to the mortal spectrum again and we have try to remember enough that we can trust God.

We can't understand how He loves us in this life.  But someday we will.