False Equivalencies

Today I spent a good portion of the afternoon fighting desperately not to be in a foul mood and then trying not to say anything negative in rehearsal because of it.  And a good deal of the evening trying to figure out what my problem was.  Besides being in a waxing and waning level of pain all day from a back spasm that needed a heating pad.

But I've had days of similar or greater pain without my mood turning like that.  And I've had students be no-shows for key rehearsals before.  Can't recall it happening on the same day, but it's not beyond the pale.

And part of me wonders if I'm not taking more to heart what I passed off as a casual comment in the professional development session this morning.  I enjoyed the session tremendously, but after the first twenty minutes, I couldn't stop myself from muttering (I think inaudibly) "Wow, first world problems."

I shared with another colleague my disorientation to no longer be talking about student stressors in terms of family stability, economic pressures, whether or not the kid was eating tonight, whether a parent was in jail, whether there were drugs at the house, whether I would have to call CPS, whether anyone had modeled caring about education, etc.

I immediately jumped in that I didn't mean that over-scheduling and anxiety-induced depression weren't serious.  And I do mean that.

But reading the readings today -- especially the Old Testament reading which spells out the things that you must do to be holy -- I can't help feeling like this is something to think about.  The actions outlined are all actions taken behalf of the oppressed on the lowest rungs of society.

You shall not withhold overnight the wages of your day laborer.
You shall not curse the deaf,
or put a stumbling block in front of the blind

You shall not punch down.  Righteous anger is directed upward at those with power over you.  At those who may punish you if you do not convince them or they feel threatened by your protest.  You don't mock and swat at college students who feel powerless in the struggle to prevent offensive statements being made by their intended mentors who protest tactless comments they make.  You move against college presidents who fire tenured professors for disagreeing with their financial models.  One is punching down at people who cannot hurt you but who dare to speak against you anyway.  The other is punching up at people who could make you suffer for it but who need to be corrected anyway.

Or to choose an issue that doesn't just annoy me but makes me want to fight back: you don't spit on those caught in random drug sweeps with questionable culpability as they rot in jail; you fight to reform the system that leaves them there for months because they can't pay $200 bails.  Sometimes forcing them out of public housing or high schools, effectively ruining their lives for cases that, if they went to trial, would quickly result in their acquittal.

And then the part that really made me think:

You shall not act dishonestly in rendering judgment.
Show neither partiality to the weak nor deference to the mighty

Notice there's no "balance" to it.  No false equivalencies.  No "don't be partial to the weak nor unfair to the mighty."  Because the Biblical authors knew better.

It's not that it never happens.  It's not like there aren't people shouting and shouting about things that aren't the boss's fault or, say, demanding to see President Obama's long-form birth certificate just to stir up trouble.

But the boss is the one with the power to fire people.  It's a much bigger deal when he is unjust.

Yes, there is suffering and unhappiness in the top tiers of society.  There is suffering everywhere.  But it is the lowest of the low, the dispossessed, the people in our system (increasingly hampered by voter ID laws no less) least likely to be served by the system as is, who should be our top priority.

Which gives me all kinds of guilt about leaving the job where I was teaching writing skills to the most disadvantaged population I've ever had regular, direct contact with to be the elective teacher and theatre artist to inspire a population that would be just fine with or without me.

I'm not saying I don't do good every day.  I'm just asking when was the last time I fed the starving, instead of just bringing cookies to the students who just had lunch anyway.