"The Spirit of Christ"

Sunday, March 6, 2014

I've listened to homilies and read commentaries on the story of Lazarus that make much of the fact that Jesus cried for the death of His friend Lazarus -- the Lord experiencing grief and sharing it with the sisters Martha (my confirmation saint!) and Mary.

I didn't really think about how odd that could seem until the reflection booklet today called it an act of compassion.

And it is.  Jesus knew what He was going to do and -- what's more, He knew that death is only ever a temporary parting.  It's not a forever loss.  He knew that the grief was natural but the despair unnecessary.

And yet He shared it.  And yet He acknowledged that Martha and Mary endured a great trauma.  Jesus didn't just sweep in and tell them to stop crying, He would fix the problem for them.  He didn't just undo the death and then say to rejoice.  He acknowledge their suffering first.  He gave them a moment to breathe and feel the horror and loss.  He validated those emotions too.

Because a lot of the teachings on Heaven and reunion in the afterlife can take on a edge of telling us not to mourn.  Explicitly, here and there, and that's always struck me as unkind, to a certain type of person.  Making you feel guilty for mourning and grieving -- like you are selfish for wanting them back here on earth rather than blissful in heaven or that you must not believe as much as you claim because you hurt so much now.

But Jesus acknowledged that death is painful for us.  It is not permanent.  It is not the end.  It is not the fearful, awful thing it would be if it actually destroyed more than our current connection to our mortal bodies.  But it hurts.  It aches.  And even when Jesus directly reversed a friend's death, He gave Martha and Mary a moment to grieve first.

He did not tell them that the tears were false or that they showed the sisters' lack of faith.  He cried with them.  An act of compassion.