March 29, 2010

1 John 1

"We declare to you what was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we have looked at and touched with our hands, concerning the word of life."

Now that's a strong start.

Human eyes looked upon the Lord God and literally followed in his footsteps. And they told their stories over and over again, a canticle against the darkness, burning His light throughout the world. And fire, even and especially holy fire, burns. It hurts. It feels like dying, because it is. Because when the fire of the Holy Spirit touches us, it burns away what doesn't work. Sin and death and selfishness. And what is left, we hope, is grace. The Holy Spirit burns everything else away.

We come to think of humility as what He replaces pride with, or that he switches out sloth for diligence or fortitude for apathy or charity for greed. I had a lesson today on the seven deadly sins and their corresponding seven virtues. The teacher didn't entirely believe that we knew the virtues without looking them up (thank you Confirmation class and "The Seven Deadly Virtues" from the Camelot soundtrack).

We think of lightness coming to replace our darkness, but that's not what He says He'll do: "forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." We have to cultivate the good to replace the bad. If the fire burns away our pride, that doesn't not make us humble until we cultivate that, until we choose it. If we pray to him to take away our envy, it does not give us his wisdom and kindness and love unless we cultivate that. And yes, He helps us acquire these virtues, but I wonder that moral teaching and striving hasn't wandered too far down the "don't do this" side of things. Even once you have stripped away your most common sins, your permanent sins, you will not be walking in the light unless you work at cultivating the seven virtues to replace the seven sins that once made war in your heart.

We cannot hide that we have sinned, we must admit it, we must be truthful. It's not like He doesn't know. We could spend our entire lives trying to purge the sins one by one, and it would leave us scrambling for an answer to what we accomplished with our lives on earth. It would better serve us to turn to the good that we can do, the graces and virtues in our selves that we can cultivate and grow bring forward into prominence. The virtues we lack which we can seek out to acquire. Because we can have all of them - we can be greedy that way. We can be chaste and pure and faithful and kind and charitable and patience and humble and courageous and honest and diligent and everything else that God would have us be. We can be a light shining in the darkness, but it isn't enough to dispel the darkness. We have to open our eyes.

It's a surprisingly tricky step and distinction, but imagine wandering around in the Dark for so long that the blinding light makes you blink so hard your eyes are closed - it's so natural to do. Blink, rapidly and long, let the tears come, but look up and around and into the light.

"If we say that we have fellowship with him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true; but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from sin."

The rest is up to us. He will be there, every step of the way, but how will you make your way in the light? Or will you just stand around blinking and shaking off the shadows?