John 18

Saturday, March 2, 2013

John 18

We don't really get an Agony in the Garden here, and it's much more minimally about Judas's betrayal. This chapter is about Peter's reaction.

And I must say that the sequence of events puts his three denials into an interesting light.  Jesus spends that night oscillating between saying that soon they will all be scattered and abandon Him and saying that soon they will understand or even do now understand His message and soon the Paraclete will come.

Then they arrive in the Garden and Jesus repeatedly gives Himself up, but they hesitate to arrest Him.  Either because they think it a trap or because (as His apostles must think) He is going to pull another "which among you" moment like when He walked through the crowd that was going to stone Him.  When things get serious, Peter draws his sword to defend Jesus - perhaps even because of Jesus telling him he will betray Jesus before the night is out.

But it also suggests that Peter is still of the "Let's defeat Rome, Messiah!" camp even at this late date.

So Peter cuts off a servant's ear to prove his devotion to Jesus, and Jesus rebukes him for missing the point.  And then Jesus is taken into custody.  Not only does the Messiah not rise in necessary violence, but the teacher who challenged the establishment seems to give in to their authority and bow to their kangaroo court.

I wonder if Peter answers no, at least one of the times, because he feels like he's not anymore.  Or perhaps that he never really was.  I wonder if he feels betrayed by how this is all ending up playing out.  I wonder if he is there at the high priest's watching where the others are not because he keeps hoping that Jesus is going to change the script.  He's going to do some wonder or at least baffle them with His words as He has always done before.  But Jesus refuses to answer - seriously, He's being something of a smart mouth.  You've got to love how human Jesus is in this chapter leading up to when He shows just how human He really is.

I wonder if Peter felt like he was the one betrayed.  I wonder if he felt betrayed and like he did not know how to follow Jesus anymore but he still couldn't leave Jesus.  After all, where would he go?  Jesus has the words of everlasting life.

And perhaps that's when we all feel like Peter.  I remember when I prayed for my father to miraculously recover.  And I remember how afraid I was to pray for it.  And I remember how it felt to have the prayer unanswered, and how ridiculous any assertion that it was God's plan felt considering how much true good my father did on a daily basis.  I remember feeling betrayed - like God had broken a promise that I knew He never made.  Like Jesus broke a promise He never made to Peter to be the kind of Messiah they had all been expecting.

But, if we are lucky, we remember - where else shall we go?  Jesus is the one with the words of everlasting life.  There is hope and comfort and love and faith there, even when the promises God never made are not kept.