Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Matthew 21:28-32

On the car drive home from the Houston airport (I'm back in Texas! WOO!) last night, my mom, Erin, and I discussed the new Mass translation. It was actually a little bizarre, because St. John's has been so gung-ho about the whole thing, and Dan's so elated to actually be better at saying the Mass parts than me, and on reflection I like what the changes I notice so far signify and clarify - what I'm saying is that I haven't really been exposed to the opposition to the change before.

It was an interestingly balanced car, at least officially. I was straightforwardly pro, Erin was unabashedly against, and Mom claimed to waffle back and forth (although she sided with me more often as the discussion progressed). Erin's main point as I understood it was that this attention to the translation represented what church shouldn't be about - focused on everybody saying exactly the right words.

Today's gospel reading certainly seems to back her up. After all, isn't Catholicism all about works being additionally necessary to please God and be saved? Another anecdote with Erin is when she worked at a summer camp that was Protestant, she said she was asked to take the kids through an exercise with three options pictured:

We are saved by:

God God + Works Works

Erin said that to her, as a born and bred Catholic, the obvious, automatic answer was "God + Works" while the obvious, automatic, and correct-according-to-the-camp answer was "God."

I remember another engrossed discussion when I was little about whether you had to be a Christian to get into heaven - which faithful readers of my blog may be surprised to learn I was on the "yes you have to be a Christian" side of, once upon a time. Not so much anymore.

So maybe the focus on words instead of action is a symptom of a problem in the church to rely overly on ceremony. Mom and I countered a lot yesterday with the idea that words are important - which I sincerely believe as only a Shakespearean scholar can. But I was thinking today - since the Church has such a...troubled...history, why did Jesus make them the conduit for His presence here on earth?

I have said several times since this past summer that I often wish I didn't believe so firmly in the Catholic Church specifically at times. Because then I could just change my denomination and go be a priest. I would be good at it, and sometimes it's what I want so badly it brings tears to my eyes (like right now, actually). But I believe in the Sacrament of the Eucharist. I believe in transubstantiation. I believe in the real presence of God - in the bread, which I receive in my body. Every day if I so choose (except in Virginia where Monday is somehow never on the daily mass schedules of any church website I look at - not that I ever go to daily mass anymore).

I have great cause to question the wisdom of the Church leaders, past and present. So I asked, Why did you promise that what they bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and what they unbind on earth shall be unbound in heaven? Why is it only through the Catholic Church that I can experience the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist? The answer came immediately, as it sometimes does when I finally pose the right question. Because we need spiritual guides. And only by giving spiritual guides the direct connection to Grace can God give us good reason not to stray too far with too little thought from the source of His presence on earth. Not without a cracking good reason.

We are meant to be a united community - and all too quickly communities devoted to faith shatter over doctrine. But whatever nonsense happens, the Eucharist is meant to bring us back together. Because whatever happens, however far astray we wonder, we return to the Church for the Real Presence. Because however backward the Church can seem, that is the place where God is reaching down to touch earth - so it is worth changing from the inside. It is to be respected and worked with. Even Martin Luther only wanted to provoke conversation about change, originally. They say.

So yes, it should matter more that we go to work in the vineyard than that we promise we will. Like when Erin, Daniel, and I were working the C.A.S.A. party. Erin and I said we would help and did, Daniel said he wouldn't but then immediately came when we called him in. We all served today, all helped our mother. And that means more than whether we said we would.

Don't get me wrong - it caused a lot of problems and emotions that he hedged, because words do matter. But in a way, I know more now that Daniel can be counted on to come when he knows he's really needed.

Erin's right - our actions should matter more, and we should be focused on that. Jesus tried to explain such things to us, and we keep forgetting or ignoring or getting them wrong. But the grace to find ways to change things comes from the Eucharist most of all - and it's right where we should go to change things. In the Church.